Before You Respond to an Angry Volunteer
Volunteers can be the eyes and ears of an organization. By giving time and skills, they are personally invested, and their feedback is critical to the organization’s success. Sometimes, that feedback might come in a form that is more emotionally charged than a volunteer manager would prefer. Here are some tips to support you in providing safe, non-judgmental, and empathetic responses when the volunteer is upset. We will limit this post to what you should NOT say, and why. If you want to know what you SHOULD say instead, please email william.henry@visvolunteers.com, and he will send you a PDF document that includes that guidance. The document is one of nearly 100 in our “VIS Vault” of risk management resources available to VIS members.
1. Don’t Smile at an Angry Volunteer
Why you may want to: A smile can lighten the mood or show friendliness or openness.
Why it doesn’t work: A smile to angry volunteers sends a message that you may be condescending toward their issue or not take them seriously. A smile may come across as an attempt to sway them from being angry, but remember that they may have a right to be angry—and for some, it’s how they’re used to getting their issue across.
2. Don’t Tell an Angry Volunteer How They Feel
Why you may want to: We think we are being empathetic when we use phrases like: ‘I can see that you are really angry…’ ‘You are (unhappy, furious, upset, crushed) because…’
Why it doesn’t work: It’s not unusual for an angry volunteer to experience an array of emotions. Trying to tag someone else’s emotions with words like unhappy, angry, or upset can simply inflame the person further. Their reaction may be to deny the words you are using. Now, you have diverted the conversation into an argument.
3. Don’t Push Your Solutions
Why you may want to: We think we are providing enlightened, personal wisdom when we use phrases like: ‘Well, what you should do is…’ ‘That’s an easy fix, all you have to say is…’ ‘When that happened to me, I…’
Why it doesn’t work: Providing an angry person with your solution may lead to a solution that doesn’t stick (because they are not in the right frame of mind to hear it), or they now want to argue with you.
4. Don’t Hijack the Conversation
Why you may want to: We think we are sympathetic when telling our stories. ‘Your situation is just like the time when I was…’ ‘I know exactly what that’s like, when I…’ ‘You’re so lucky, when that happened to me…’
Why it doesn’t work: When you attempt to sympathize by starting to share a story of your own, you can see the volunteer take a deep breath and sigh, realizing that they won’t be able to complete their story. You’ve now hijacked the conversation to be about you.
What to do instead? Email william.henry@visvolunteers.com, and William will email you the document describing the responses likely to defuse the negative situation and get you onto positive ground with the volunteer.
In addition to volunteer liability insurance, VIS also offers accident medical insurance to protect volunteers if they are injured, and automobile liability insurance, in case a volunteer causes a vehicle accident while on assignment. If you are interested in protecting your volunteers through the unique VIS insurance program, please click on the “Get volunteer insurance now” link on the home page, or call 800.222.8920. For more information on VIS’s risk management resources for members, and our vendor partners, click on the “Member Benefits” tab.
